Friday, October 21, 2011

Tomorrow is the big day!

Well we can't believe it's finally here!  C-section is scheduled for tomorrow at 10:00am:)  Feels like this week has both dragged on and flown by!  We've been very busy getting all the last minute details together and yes, I admit, I've been slightly neurotic:)  I insisted on moving furniture around in our room so we could move the cradle away from the sliding glass door because obviously someone could break through the doors and take the baby or a big storm could hit and blow through the glass.  I need the baby on the other side of the room, next to me where I can easily through my body over it and protect it.  I think it's a totally legit concern and was right to insist on Tyler moving the furniture around.  Tyler just thinks I'm crazy:)

I've been feeling such a mix of emotions about this weekend.  I'm so excited and can't wait to meet the baby. To see what it looks like.  To no longer call it "it"!!  Boy or girl?!!  I'm dying to know!  But I've also been dreading those daunting 48 hours before our birth mother signs the papers.  I'm trying to prepare myself for the possibility that she could change her mind.  She has every right to and I can only imagine how difficult this decision is for her.  I feel very confident that she is committed to this adoption but you never know for sure.  Talk about having to trust God!!  All we can do is follow our hearts and trust that we are here for a reason.  I just can't wait for Monday when we get to bring the baby home:)

I'm also nervous about breastfeeding.  Did you know adoptive moms can breastfeed?  yep!  pretty crazy!! I've been taking some herbs and some uh medicine from Bangkok I think?:)  And I've been pumping 3 or 4 times a day since July.  I feel like a science experiment but it's working!  I only make about 2 ounces a day so will have to supplement with formula and breast milk from friends but there's a crazy cool little contraption called a supplement aid that will allow me to feed the baby formula while breast feeding.  You basically put formula in a little bag that you wear around your neck and there's a super thin straw that you insert in the baby's mouth while latched on.  It will also help me produce more milk having a baby latch onto me instead of a pump:)  It's definitely a little complicated and I'm dreading 3:00am feedings with this thing, but it's really important to me to have the bonding experience of breast feeding and I figure any breast milk I produce is better than nothing.  Mostly I'm worried about how it's all going to go at the hospital this weekend. I don't have a lot of say or rights to anything until our birth mother signs the papers so hoping we have very understanding and cooperating nurses who will work with me on the nursing thing. I have a feeling I'm going to have to fight a little bit to make sure no one bottle feeds the baby.  And there's also no where for us to stay at the hospital so I'll be sleeping in waiting rooms or the car and nursing the baby in any private corner I can find.  We'll get a hotel close by to have a place to shower and change but I have a feeling I won't want to stay there all night if I insist on breast feeding:)  Those little things like to eat pretty often!  So we'll see how it works out, I'm trying not to worry about the logistics of everything too much.  Just trying to focus on this amazing gift we're being given this weekend and how blessed we are.  It's all so surreal.  I'm going to be a mom?!  So happy but a little terrified too:)

Thank you to everyone who has been so happy and excited with us.  Thank you for all the prayers and encouraging words.  It means so much to have such an amazing community welcoming Baby Pearson home:)  Please be thinking and praying for us this weekend.  Pray for our birth mother, for a healthy and smooth delivery and a healthy baby.  And just for everything to go smoothly and for those 48 hours to fly by!  I will try to post on facebook the sex of the baby and all it's cute little details but probably won't post any pictures until we know for sure we get to bring him/her home:)  Thanks for loving Baby Pearson already!
love,
Katie

Friday, October 7, 2011

Profile book

Some of you have asked to see our profile book.  Here it is:)
Disclaimer: You may want to give us your child after reading it.



Photo Book Tip: Create an adventurous travel photo album at Shutterfly.com.




Tuesday, October 4, 2011

part 2

After the excitement of being matched we had to get down to business.  Unfortunately adoption isn't cheap:) We are very blessed to be sponsored by our social worker and she is contributing monthly to our adoption fund.  However, we still needed more help, so it was grant writing time.  We were a little limited on what grants we were eligible for because we are doing private, domestic adoption.  And let me tell you, applying to these grants is NOT fun!  Very time consuming with lots of personal questions.  Thankfully, because I did the profile book, Tyler volunteered to take the lead on the grant writing.  He's amazing, I know.  However, there was still a lot of writing I had to do myself because they want to hear from both of us.  Most of the grants where from Christian organizations so I felt the questions were basically just trying to see how Holy I am haha!  Had to really turn on my "Christianese" for these.  Yes, as a preacher's kid I am fluent in Christianese:)  Still waiting to hear back from all the grants (they take a while to decide and get back to you)  We've had to front all the costs which has been challenging at times but it's been amazing how God continues to provide for us.  I took a second job at my church as the children's ministry director and that has really helped a lot...financially...but it's definitely been exhausting!  This summer I worked full-time with the twins and worked "part-time" at my church so was pulling in 60-70 hour work weeks.  I am not made for this type of thing!!  And with grant writing and getting the house ready for the baby, I definitely had a lot on my plate.  To be honest,  I was completely overwhelmed.  This summer was really hard.  It was a mixture of being so excited and happy and being completely stressed and overwhelmed.  And then there was the due date fiasco. We've literally been given 8 different due dates since we've been matched.  (To be clear, the actual due date never changed, we were just given wrong information)  Definitely a little frustrating!  When we thought the due date was moved up to September I thought I was going to lose my mind.  Everything we had to do and pay for got moved up and it was extremely stressful.  I felt like I was being pulled in so many different directions with everything demanding my full attention, which I couldn't give.  I was definitely a really bad friend and wife during that time.  And then I looked at what I was so stressed about: a new baby coming, fixing up our home, jobs, grants.....all things I should be thankful for!  And I really am thankful.  So thankful.  And God knows what he's doing:) We found out in August that the due date is actually October 22nd.  We got to go to a doctor appointment with our birth mother and hear it from the doctor ourselves.  I was bitter for about a day that we had been so stressed and worked so hard to be ready early, just to have plenty of time but then quickly realized what a blessing this is.  I was so stressed this summer, I never got a chance to relax and emotionally prepare myself to be a mom (as much as anyone can ever really be prepared) and now I have that time.  The twins started Kindergarten so I'm not working with them anymore (I'll share more about that in a later post), the house is coming together, grants are done, I have so much more time!  I've had time to sleep in, go on dates with Tyler, have happy hour with girlfriends, and read books for fun!!  I'm definitely soaking it up as much as I can because rumor has it that life changes a bit when you have a baby:)  Still working at my church and finishing up the house but everything seems much more manageable and enjoyable.  We have less than 3 weeks till the baby comes and I plan to enjoy this time as much as possible, but I can't wait to start our new adventure.  I can't wait to be a mom.  I can't wait to see what the baby looks like and what the baby is!!  Boy or Girl??!!!   We decided early on that we wanted it to be a surprise.  One, because I love surprises but mostly because this baby isn't ours yet and it's a way to emotionally guard our hearts a little bit.  We've had our names picked out for years and don't want to use them until we know it's our baby.  As confident as I feel that our birth mother is committed to adoption, that could change and she has every right to that.  We'll name the baby when she signs the papers 48 hours after the birth.

Speaking of our birth mother, I just wanted to share how much we love and admire her.  We got to meet her back in July.  So nerve racking!!  But it went so well.  I won't go into her story because it's not mine to tell but I will say that she is an extremely brave, self-less, and strong woman.  I'm so thankful for her and pray for her and the baby constantly.  Whenever I'm overwhelmed, I think of her and everything she is going through and it really puts things into perspective.  When all is said is done, we get to walk away with a baby, an amazing and incredible gift we get to love and raise.  Our birth mother, on the other hand, will be going through what will probably be the hardest thing she's ever done or will do.  Like I said, she's an amazing woman.

Okay that's it for now.  I'll share more soon!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

oh yeah I have a blog...

Hi friends!
It's been a really long time since I've blogged and there have been a lot of really exciting things I wanted to share!  As you all know, we are matched with a birth mother and anxiously awaiting the arrival of Baby Pearson:)  Here's some of the highlights of the last few months....



We completed our Home Study back in April and it went great!  I love our social worker!  She made the whole thing very easy and stress free.  Well not completely stress free...I was a little neurotic leading up to the whole thing:)  She was running late and so I was literally pacing our living room and jumping every time a car drove by.  Tyler compared me to a dog waiting for it's owners to come home with the way I was watching the window.  But as soon as Pam got here I relaxed.  A few hours and some very personal questions later we were all done and officially in the 2nd trimester of adoption (that's what we like to call it)


The next step was to make our profile book.  Oh the profile book!  I thought I would enjoy making it but it sucked the life out of me.  It's a lot of pressure to "advertise" yourself as the right family to give your baby to.  Felt so weird.  And it took foreeeevvvvveeerrrr!!  I spent weeks with lots of late nights obsessing over every picture and paragraph.  Ugh I shudder just thinking about having to make it.  I was so relieved when I finally finished it.

Despite the stress of making the profile book, some great things happened in our 2nd trimester.  I got to go on a girls weekend with 5 of my best friends from college.  Seriously love these girls.  We do an annual girls trip and this year we stayed at a condo on New Smyrna beach.  It was a great weekend filled with lots of Glee karaoke, the beach and catching up.  One of the best parts for me was a very special gift they all made for the baby.  They each wrote a letter/prayer for the baby and put it together in a book for me and Tyler.  I was a hot crying mess when they gave it to me!  I couldn't even read it.  I had to wait until I was alone so I wouldn't be too embarrassed with my ugly crying and need to reread it 5 times because I loved it so much.  I think it meant so much to me because it showed me that even though I'm not pregnant, this baby feels just as real to them as it does to me.  The book is currently displayed in the nursery awaiting Baby Pearson.  Can't wait to show the baby how loved it is by all it's "Aunts"  (BTW feels really weird calling it an "it")

A very very happy occasion not related to to our adoption but still a huge highlight was my big brother's wedding!!  Kyle and Dara are married!  We've all been waiting for this to happen for a very long time:)  Before the wedding my mom and I flew out to Denver to pick up Dara and drive her down to Florida.  Not everyone can go on a road trip with their mom and sister-in-law and honestly say it was a great time!  I hope to post pics on Facebook soon.  The whole wedding weekend was a blast!  I loved watching my big brother get married and to top it off, he married one of my best friends:)  My favorite part was hearing Kyle's personal vows to Dara (he sure knows how to make a sister cry) and at the end of the reception when all the guests circled around Kyle and Dara singing and swaying to "Piano Man".  Perfect moment.



It was during the wedding weekend that I started getting emails from our social worker of a possible birth mother she wanted to show our profile to.  This birth mother was already matched with a family but the family was considering backing out.  I tried not to think about it or let it distract me from the weekend but it was definitely on my mind!  On Monday we get a call that the family officially backed out of the adoption so our social worker wanted to show our profile book to the birth mother.....the only problem was that our profile book hadn't come in yet!  I had literally just finished and ordered it the week before.  I quickly tracked the shipping and discovered that it'd be arriving to us on Tuesday.  After we get it (and take a moment to pray over it) we put it right back in the mail and overnight it to the birth mother Wednesday morning.  She receives it Thursday and on Friday we get the call that she loved us and we were officially matched!!  I seriously had whiplash!  I still can't believe how quickly it happened.  I will forever remember standing in the parking lot of Tyler's work hovering over the phone as we got to hear that we're getting a baby.  It was our version of staring at a little stick with pee on it.  


We waited to put it on facebook until after we met our birth mother a few weeks later but loved telling all our close friends and family the exciting news.  This baby is very blessed to have so many people excited about it's arrival.  We feel so blessed by the community we have around us.  I want to share more but this blog has gotten crazy long and it's crazy late.  I'll post more tomorrow:)  

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Home Study

It's finally here!  Tyler and I are scheduled to have our home study tomorrow night.  I'm so excited to finally complete this step!  I'm really not that nervous....but I'm definitely anxious.  It helps that we know our social worker and she's been to our home before and already said our home is great for a baby:)  What I'm more anxious about are all the questions she has to ask us.  What if I say something wrong?  Or make a stupid joke that offends her (I tend to do that when I'm nervous:/)?  And Tyler keeps joking about playing a prank on her some how.  Someone please tell him what a dumb idea this is!  He thinks it will break the ice and calm nerves.  I think it will get him killed....because I will kill him:)  And what should I wear?  What says "I"m a good person to give a baby to"?  Should I have home made cookies baking in the oven to show my domestic side?  (I've never made anything from scratch in my life by the way)  I actually can't even cook.  I probably shouldn't mention that during the home study.  Ok I know I'm being silly but this is definitely a weird experience.  We went into adoption because we feel strongly about providing a loving home for a child who needs one.  We plan to adopt multiple times because I really am passionate about helping as many children as possible.  But this whole process of being approved and chosen is very humbling.  Why should our social worker approve us?  Why should a birth mother pick us?  Why would God pick us?  It makes the gift of this child feel that much more precious. 

Please say a little pray for us Wednesday night:)  And that I get some sleep tonight.  I have a feeling I'll be up late cleaning and re-cleaning my entire house.....


On a completely different note.  Walker has pink eye:/  Poor guy!!  I had to put drops in his eyes today before nap time and it was awful!!  I HATE eye stuff!!  I can't even handle it when I get an eye lash in my eye.  In college I went on a team retreat with my Young Life team and got something in my eye while riding 4-wheelers.  It took 5 people to hold me down and flush water in my eyes.  When I was little it took 6 nurses to put drops in my eyes.  I'm not even exaggerating which is really sad.  So when Paul told me he had to be on a conference call and I had to be the one to put the drops in Walker's eyes I tried not to let my panic show.  I'm not sure who it was worse for.  This is scary and painful for Walker and I was trying to comfort him but I really needed someone to comfort me too.  Gah!  I'm such a baby!  I swallowed my fears and pushed down my desire to run out of the room and held the poor boy down and pried his little eye open.  He handled the first drop pretty peacefully but then freaked out!!!  He was so upset and miserable my issues quickly vanished and all I cared about was helping him through this.  I tried praying together.  I tried singing together.  Both usually calm him down pretty well but he had reached the point of no return.  So I just cried with him and put the drops in the corner of his eyes and hoped the tears would help the medicine get in there.  He then begged me to never do that to him again.  Unfortunately for us both, I'll be doing this all over again in 4 hours.  At least I'm not worried about the eye part anymore.  Just the emotional damage I'm doing to this poor boy. 

Monday, April 11, 2011

13.1

My half-marathon was a few weeks ago but I wanted to share with everyone a few pictures and some of my favorite parts:)
 My little brother and I about to start


Had a beautiful view of the ocean for part of the run


Feelin good!


Yay I did it!! 2:04:51
 Huggin my mama:)


We did it!  Very proud of my bro!


My mom came out to cheer us on and walk the 5k


My crazy awesome husband crazy loves me

My awesome friends made the BEST poster!!

I was kinda surprised how much fun I had running the half!  The beginning was a little rough.  At mile 3 I was thinking there was no way I was gonna make it.  I was tired and questioning why I decided to do this in the first place.  And then I remembered this was all Keith's idea and I began cursing him in my head.  Then I felt bad because he was running too and probably needed me to pray for him, not hate him for making me do this:/  And lets talk about how annoying these speed demon runners are.  They were passing me like I was the slowest person to ever attempt to run.  I mean who are these people?!  Didn't they know they were messing with me head?  I kept thinking  "Apparently I'm barely moving.  But I'm tired and this hurts.  How am I gonna finish this damn thing....ugh damn Keith, this is all his fault!!....I mean God be with Keith and give him strength.....And I could really use some strength too...."

But somewhere around mile 6 I was having the time of my life!  I think it was a combination of working out all the kinks in my body, getting out on my own and finally starting to pass some people myself, and listening to some really good music on my ipod.  I had switched all the music on my ipod to worship songs and they worked great to pump me up and keep me moving and keep me praying.  I can't remember everything I was thinking while I was running.  There were miles that I must have mentally blacked out because I don't remember anything.  I sort of compare it to dance marathon.  32 hours of staying on your feet with no sleep.  I definitely forgot hours of my life there.  But what I do remember was surprisingly a lot of fun:) 

Here were some of my favorite parts of the half:
  • Running with my little bro:)
  • My crazy incredible awesome husband being the best cheerleader I could ask for
  • My Mama coming to cheer us on and walk her own 5k too:)
  • Alyssa (Keith's kick ass wife) and her brother, Alan being awesome cheerleaders and dealing with my craziness before the half-marathon
  • Miles 6-10.5 were awesome.  I felt great and had a great pace!  
  • Tyler, Alyssa and Alan moved around to cheer us on at different parts of the race.  It meant so much to see them cheering and holding posters for us!
  • When I looped back I got to pass Keith and give him a high five.  It was great to see how well he was doing and it was just encouraging to know he was doing this with me.  (looking for him for almost a mile also gave me something to do to stay distracted from my sore toes:) 
  • Mile 12 Tyler caught up to me on his skateboard.  At that point I couldn't tell if I was still moving so it was so great to have him next to me to talk to.  He stayed with me till mile 13 and then went up to the finish line to cheer me on there.  Man I'm crazy lucky to have him.
  • Crossing that finish line!!
  • The "Katie Potter" poster!!  Amazing!!  Thank you Elysa, Ryan, Dan, Melissa and Rene!!!  I laughed every time Tyler held it up for me:)
  • Watching Keith cross the finish line.  I'm such a proud sister!
  • Getting so many encouraging messages from friends and family
  • Spending some much needed time focusing on God and not myself.  Switching to worship music on my ipod was the best thing I could have done.  
  • Destroying  CiCi's pizza buffet after the race.  Ate a whole large pizza and then some:)  They never saw us coming....

The worst part you ask?   My bruised and bloody toe nails and blisters the size of Texas.  My feet may never be the same.  But it was worth it and I can't wait to do it again!! 



Friday, March 18, 2011

March

Oh hello!  Sorry I haven't blogged in so long!  Here's my attempt to catch everyone up:)

We're still waiting to have our home study:/  We have everything turned in that we need but our social worker has been very busy with some urgent/intense situations so we've had to wait.  Of course we understand and are more than willing to wait but man is it hard to be patient sometimes!  I was hoping to have our profiles ready to show birth mothers by the end of March but it's unlikely that's going to happen now.  We also need to apply to a lot of grants and can't do that until the home study is complete.  So right now we're just waiting.....and trying to wait patiently.  Adoption seems to require a lot of that. 

Is it weird to feel like I'm already in nesting mode?  I know we probably still have a while to wait.  We haven't even been matched yet.  But I can't help it!  My house has to be ready now.  The baby room has to be ready now.  We have to have the names picked out now.   Everything needs to be clean and organized and perfect.  If you know me well you know I NEVER feel the need to have anything clean or organized!!  I'm the messiest person I know (my mom use to have to pay my friends to clean my room) but now I can't stand it.  I want it perfect for a baby.  I keep telling myself it's because we won't have a full 9 months to prepare ourselves.  Who knows how long our birth mother will be a long when we are matched up.  I don't want to be stressed and crazy about getting the house ready.  I'm sure I'll be anxious enough already!  Tyler thinks I'm a little insane when I nag him to build our built in storage unit or carpet the bedrooms.  I mean his logic makes since, we don't have the extra money!  But still, it's driving me completely crazy to not have the house how I want it!  Again I'm working on the patience....

On a completely different note, I'm running a half-marathon this Sunday.  Gah!!  I'm sort of freaking out about it.  I really don't work well under pressure.  I'm mostly excited and really pretty confident that I'll be able to do it but I keep obsessing over all the other variables that could go wrong.  I've had nightmares about sleeping in and missing the race or forgetting my shoes or my music not working.  I've become a little obsessive compulsive about making my packing list and packing my bag.  This usually isn't how I operate.  Which is why usually I forget something very important!  One time I forget my dress to the wedding we were traveling for.  I have forgotten underwear multiple times and have had to make an emergency trip to Target.  I'm always surprised when I actually do remember to bring my toothbrush.  Usually I end up sharing Tyler's (sorry if you think that's gross:)  But not this time!  I have packed and checked my list a thousand times and will continue to do so until we get on the road.  My race is in St. Pete but we're staying with my brother and sister in law in Bradenton.  Very excited to spend some time with family (my mom's coming in town too) and to run the race with my little brother!  I plan on beating him and having bragging rights for the rest of our lives.  A little sibling rivalry is always a good thing:)

Please join us in praying!  I have been thinking about our birth mother A LOT lately!  I have 2 friends in my bible study who are pregnant and due in September.  We've always sort of aimed for the baby to come sometime in the fall.  So now I keep wondering if she's already pregnant!  She's in my thoughts and prayers constantly.  Is she okay?  Is she terrified?  Is she safe?  Is the baby safe?  Constantly praying for God to protect her and the baby and to give her peace and guidance.  Please lift her up in prayers too!  And our child!

And if you think about it, please say a prayer for me while I'm running on Sunday:)  It's only through God's strength that I'll be able to do it! 

Thanks everyone!  I promise I'll try to blog again sooner next time:)