Well we can't believe it's finally here! C-section is scheduled for tomorrow at 10:00am:) Feels like this week has both dragged on and flown by! We've been very busy getting all the last minute details together and yes, I admit, I've been slightly neurotic:) I insisted on moving furniture around in our room so we could move the cradle away from the sliding glass door because obviously someone could break through the doors and take the baby or a big storm could hit and blow through the glass. I need the baby on the other side of the room, next to me where I can easily through my body over it and protect it. I think it's a totally legit concern and was right to insist on Tyler moving the furniture around. Tyler just thinks I'm crazy:)
I've been feeling such a mix of emotions about this weekend. I'm so excited and can't wait to meet the baby. To see what it looks like. To no longer call it "it"!! Boy or girl?!! I'm dying to know! But I've also been dreading those daunting 48 hours before our birth mother signs the papers. I'm trying to prepare myself for the possibility that she could change her mind. She has every right to and I can only imagine how difficult this decision is for her. I feel very confident that she is committed to this adoption but you never know for sure. Talk about having to trust God!! All we can do is follow our hearts and trust that we are here for a reason. I just can't wait for Monday when we get to bring the baby home:)
I'm also nervous about breastfeeding. Did you know adoptive moms can breastfeed? yep! pretty crazy!! I've been taking some herbs and some uh medicine from Bangkok I think?:) And I've been pumping 3 or 4 times a day since July. I feel like a science experiment but it's working! I only make about 2 ounces a day so will have to supplement with formula and breast milk from friends but there's a crazy cool little contraption called a supplement aid that will allow me to feed the baby formula while breast feeding. You basically put formula in a little bag that you wear around your neck and there's a super thin straw that you insert in the baby's mouth while latched on. It will also help me produce more milk having a baby latch onto me instead of a pump:) It's definitely a little complicated and I'm dreading 3:00am feedings with this thing, but it's really important to me to have the bonding experience of breast feeding and I figure any breast milk I produce is better than nothing. Mostly I'm worried about how it's all going to go at the hospital this weekend. I don't have a lot of say or rights to anything until our birth mother signs the papers so hoping we have very understanding and cooperating nurses who will work with me on the nursing thing. I have a feeling I'm going to have to fight a little bit to make sure no one bottle feeds the baby. And there's also no where for us to stay at the hospital so I'll be sleeping in waiting rooms or the car and nursing the baby in any private corner I can find. We'll get a hotel close by to have a place to shower and change but I have a feeling I won't want to stay there all night if I insist on breast feeding:) Those little things like to eat pretty often! So we'll see how it works out, I'm trying not to worry about the logistics of everything too much. Just trying to focus on this amazing gift we're being given this weekend and how blessed we are. It's all so surreal. I'm going to be a mom?! So happy but a little terrified too:)
Thank you to everyone who has been so happy and excited with us. Thank you for all the prayers and encouraging words. It means so much to have such an amazing community welcoming Baby Pearson home:) Please be thinking and praying for us this weekend. Pray for our birth mother, for a healthy and smooth delivery and a healthy baby. And just for everything to go smoothly and for those 48 hours to fly by! I will try to post on facebook the sex of the baby and all it's cute little details but probably won't post any pictures until we know for sure we get to bring him/her home:) Thanks for loving Baby Pearson already!