After the excitement of being matched we had to get down to business. Unfortunately adoption isn't cheap:) We are very blessed to be sponsored by our social worker and she is contributing monthly to our adoption fund. However, we still needed more help, so it was grant writing time. We were a little limited on what grants we were eligible for because we are doing private, domestic adoption. And let me tell you, applying to these grants is NOT fun! Very time consuming with lots of personal questions. Thankfully, because I did the profile book, Tyler volunteered to take the lead on the grant writing. He's amazing, I know. However, there was still a lot of writing I had to do myself because they want to hear from both of us. Most of the grants where from Christian organizations so I felt the questions were basically just trying to see how Holy I am haha! Had to really turn on my "Christianese" for these. Yes, as a preacher's kid I am fluent in Christianese:) Still waiting to hear back from all the grants (they take a while to decide and get back to you) We've had to front all the costs which has been challenging at times but it's been amazing how God continues to provide for us. I took a second job at my church as the children's ministry director and that has really helped a lot...financially...but it's definitely been exhausting! This summer I worked full-time with the twins and worked "part-time" at my church so was pulling in 60-70 hour work weeks. I am not made for this type of thing!! And with grant writing and getting the house ready for the baby, I definitely had a lot on my plate. To be honest, I was completely overwhelmed. This summer was really hard. It was a mixture of being so excited and happy and being completely stressed and overwhelmed. And then there was the due date fiasco. We've literally been given 8 different due dates since we've been matched. (To be clear, the actual due date never changed, we were just given wrong information) Definitely a little frustrating! When we thought the due date was moved up to September I thought I was going to lose my mind. Everything we had to do and pay for got moved up and it was extremely stressful. I felt like I was being pulled in so many different directions with everything demanding my full attention, which I couldn't give. I was definitely a really bad friend and wife during that time. And then I looked at what I was so stressed about: a new baby coming, fixing up our home, jobs, grants.....all things I should be thankful for! And I really am thankful. So thankful. And God knows what he's doing:) We found out in August that the due date is actually October 22nd. We got to go to a doctor appointment with our birth mother and hear it from the doctor ourselves. I was bitter for about a day that we had been so stressed and worked so hard to be ready early, just to have plenty of time but then quickly realized what a blessing this is. I was so stressed this summer, I never got a chance to relax and emotionally prepare myself to be a mom (as much as anyone can ever really be prepared) and now I have that time. The twins started Kindergarten so I'm not working with them anymore (I'll share more about that in a later post), the house is coming together, grants are done, I have so much more time! I've had time to sleep in, go on dates with Tyler, have happy hour with girlfriends, and read books for fun!! I'm definitely soaking it up as much as I can because rumor has it that life changes a bit when you have a baby:) Still working at my church and finishing up the house but everything seems much more manageable and enjoyable. We have less than 3 weeks till the baby comes and I plan to enjoy this time as much as possible, but I can't wait to start our new adventure. I can't wait to be a mom. I can't wait to see what the baby looks like and what the baby is!! Boy or Girl??!!! We decided early on that we wanted it to be a surprise. One, because I love surprises but mostly because this baby isn't ours yet and it's a way to emotionally guard our hearts a little bit. We've had our names picked out for years and don't want to use them until we know it's our baby. As confident as I feel that our birth mother is committed to adoption, that could change and she has every right to that. We'll name the baby when she signs the papers 48 hours after the birth.
Speaking of our birth mother, I just wanted to share how much we love and admire her. We got to meet her back in July. So nerve racking!! But it went so well. I won't go into her story because it's not mine to tell but I will say that she is an extremely brave, self-less, and strong woman. I'm so thankful for her and pray for her and the baby constantly. Whenever I'm overwhelmed, I think of her and everything she is going through and it really puts things into perspective. When all is said is done, we get to walk away with a baby, an amazing and incredible gift we get to love and raise. Our birth mother, on the other hand, will be going through what will probably be the hardest thing she's ever done or will do. Like I said, she's an amazing woman.
Okay that's it for now. I'll share more soon!
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