March

Oh hello!  Sorry I haven't blogged in so long!  Here's my attempt to catch everyone up:)

We're still waiting to have our home study:/  We have everything turned in that we need but our social worker has been very busy with some urgent/intense situations so we've had to wait.  Of course we understand and are more than willing to wait but man is it hard to be patient sometimes!  I was hoping to have our profiles ready to show birth mothers by the end of March but it's unlikely that's going to happen now.  We also need to apply to a lot of grants and can't do that until the home study is complete.  So right now we're just waiting.....and trying to wait patiently.  Adoption seems to require a lot of that. 

Is it weird to feel like I'm already in nesting mode?  I know we probably still have a while to wait.  We haven't even been matched yet.  But I can't help it!  My house has to be ready now.  The baby room has to be ready now.  We have to have the names picked out now.   Everything needs to be clean and organized and perfect.  If you know me well you know I NEVER feel the need to have anything clean or organized!!  I'm the messiest person I know (my mom use to have to pay my friends to clean my room) but now I can't stand it.  I want it perfect for a baby.  I keep telling myself it's because we won't have a full 9 months to prepare ourselves.  Who knows how long our birth mother will be a long when we are matched up.  I don't want to be stressed and crazy about getting the house ready.  I'm sure I'll be anxious enough already!  Tyler thinks I'm a little insane when I nag him to build our built in storage unit or carpet the bedrooms.  I mean his logic makes since, we don't have the extra money!  But still, it's driving me completely crazy to not have the house how I want it!  Again I'm working on the patience....

On a completely different note, I'm running a half-marathon this Sunday.  Gah!!  I'm sort of freaking out about it.  I really don't work well under pressure.  I'm mostly excited and really pretty confident that I'll be able to do it but I keep obsessing over all the other variables that could go wrong.  I've had nightmares about sleeping in and missing the race or forgetting my shoes or my music not working.  I've become a little obsessive compulsive about making my packing list and packing my bag.  This usually isn't how I operate.  Which is why usually I forget something very important!  One time I forget my dress to the wedding we were traveling for.  I have forgotten underwear multiple times and have had to make an emergency trip to Target.  I'm always surprised when I actually do remember to bring my toothbrush.  Usually I end up sharing Tyler's (sorry if you think that's gross:)  But not this time!  I have packed and checked my list a thousand times and will continue to do so until we get on the road.  My race is in St. Pete but we're staying with my brother and sister in law in Bradenton.  Very excited to spend some time with family (my mom's coming in town too) and to run the race with my little brother!  I plan on beating him and having bragging rights for the rest of our lives.  A little sibling rivalry is always a good thing:)

Please join us in praying!  I have been thinking about our birth mother A LOT lately!  I have 2 friends in my bible study who are pregnant and due in September.  We've always sort of aimed for the baby to come sometime in the fall.  So now I keep wondering if she's already pregnant!  She's in my thoughts and prayers constantly.  Is she okay?  Is she terrified?  Is she safe?  Is the baby safe?  Constantly praying for God to protect her and the baby and to give her peace and guidance.  Please lift her up in prayers too!  And our child!

And if you think about it, please say a prayer for me while I'm running on Sunday:)  It's only through God's strength that I'll be able to do it! 

Thanks everyone!  I promise I'll try to blog again sooner next time:)