Thank you to everyone for all your words of encouragement! We feel very blessed to have so many people praying for us and supporting us through this process. Especially because some of the responses I've gotten haven't always been encouraging. I don't think people mean to be unsupportive. I think they're just surprised that we are choosing to adopt and don't know what to say. And that's okay. Seriously. I know this is something new to most people. I really am happy to share and answer questions as best I can. But it can be frustrating. I can tell the difference when I tell someone we're adopting and they're genuinely excited and when they think it's weird. There's a look in their eyes that's easily recognizable. I try not to let it bother me but it does sting a little. If I was telling someone I was pregnant there would be no look of hesitation and questioning. And let me go ahead and answer the most common question: We do not struggle with infertility and we do plan on having biological children as well. I would like to get pregnant at least once simply because I would like to have that experience but we also plan to adopt multiple times. I have wanted to adopt since I can remember and those of you who know me well have probably heard me talking about it for years. There are so many children who need a home and I hope Tyler and I can provide a good one. My prayer is that through our experience more people would consider adoption when growing their family.
And if I could ask a favor/give some advice......if someone tells you they're adopting please do not tell them all the different horror stories you've heard or about your friend who has had failed adoptions or a bad experience. It is not helpful:) If I were pregnant would you run through all the people you know who have had miscarriages or how common they are? I'd hope not! We are not naive. We know the risks and we know that we will probably go through at least one failed adoption before we bring our baby home (according to the books they're very common) But we know God will bring us our baby when it's the baby He wants for us and according to His timing. We know this can be an emotional and difficult journey. We have control over nothing and that's terrifying! But we are trusting God to lead us the whole way and He never disappoints.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
First Trimester.....of Adoption:)
Yep we're adopting! A big reason I wanted to write a blog is because Tyler and I just started the adoption process and we wanted an easy way to share the experience with our friends and family. We are very excited about starting our family but also terrified and also overwhelmed by the whole process and also worried about paying for everything.......but mostly we're excited:) It's crazy really how many emotions I can feel about it but I assume that's how anyone feels when starting their family whether it be through adoption or not. All I know is that I feel like I was made to be a mom and I can't wait. Let me try and catch everyone up....
We are referring to this stage of adoption as the first trimester. We met with our social worker back in October to set up the game plan . Her name's Pam and she's flippin awesome. Met her through our church when she spoke one Sunday about adopting her children. She's also the one who actually convinced us to adopt domestically instead of internationally. We had already picked out the orphanage in Ethiopia we wanted to adopt from when Pam asked us if we'd be willing to adopt from here. Apparently Florida has a difficult time getting black babies adopted (I think that's crazy) and obviously we weren't expecting to get a white baby from Ethiopia. I was hesitant because of how difficult it is to adopt domestically. It's usually more expensive and a much longer process. However Pam is awesome and is not only offering her services for free but got us in touch with a lawyer who is dramatically cheaper than most adoption lawyers. He is passionate about adoption and never wants money to be a reason for a family not to adopt. We feel extremely blessed God brought them into our lives!! We are also applying for lots and lots and lots of grants to help pay for the needed expenses. And because we are willing to take a non-Caucasian baby we won't have to wait as long to get matched with a birth mother. It's been very obvious that this is the direction God is leading us. There are definitely some draw backs to domestic adoption (the biggest being the risk of the birth mother changing her mind) but we know God is preparing a baby out there for us and we trust Him and His timing.
Our first meeting with Pam was very informative. She explained to us all the different kinds of adoption and the pros and cons of private adoption vs. using an agency. We also went ahead and did the paper work for our DCF clearance. Our homework afterwards was to do our research and decide between agency or private adoption. After a lot of prayer and research of different grants and talking with friends we decided to go with private. We have a friend, Jeremy who is a lawyer and willing to charge even less than the lawyer Pam had recommended. And Pam's lawyer is amazingly willing to help Jeremy through the process for no charge! We feel very blessed to have such a wonderful, God-centered team behind us in this process!
Our next step is to start preparing for our home study and putting our profile together. This is a very daunting project and one I'm really not looking forward to! But I know it'll all be worth it:) Our goal is to have everything done by the end of March and then we wait to be matched with a birth mother. In a perfect world we could have a baby by this summer or fall. However, adoption is rarely a perfect world. Thankfully, God is in control and He knows what He's doing:)
Please join us in praying over this process! Pray for mine and Tyler's hearts as we prepare to become parents and face this long road ahead of bringing our baby home. Please lift up our baby's birth mother. I can't even imagine how difficult this will be for her! And pray for our child. We know God will bring us the baby He wants for us. And please feel free to ask us any questions you might have about adoption. We will always be as open and honest as possible. Thank you for sharing in this journey with us!
We are referring to this stage of adoption as the first trimester. We met with our social worker back in October to set up the game plan . Her name's Pam and she's flippin awesome. Met her through our church when she spoke one Sunday about adopting her children. She's also the one who actually convinced us to adopt domestically instead of internationally. We had already picked out the orphanage in Ethiopia we wanted to adopt from when Pam asked us if we'd be willing to adopt from here. Apparently Florida has a difficult time getting black babies adopted (I think that's crazy) and obviously we weren't expecting to get a white baby from Ethiopia. I was hesitant because of how difficult it is to adopt domestically. It's usually more expensive and a much longer process. However Pam is awesome and is not only offering her services for free but got us in touch with a lawyer who is dramatically cheaper than most adoption lawyers. He is passionate about adoption and never wants money to be a reason for a family not to adopt. We feel extremely blessed God brought them into our lives!! We are also applying for lots and lots and lots of grants to help pay for the needed expenses. And because we are willing to take a non-Caucasian baby we won't have to wait as long to get matched with a birth mother. It's been very obvious that this is the direction God is leading us. There are definitely some draw backs to domestic adoption (the biggest being the risk of the birth mother changing her mind) but we know God is preparing a baby out there for us and we trust Him and His timing.
Our first meeting with Pam was very informative. She explained to us all the different kinds of adoption and the pros and cons of private adoption vs. using an agency. We also went ahead and did the paper work for our DCF clearance. Our homework afterwards was to do our research and decide between agency or private adoption. After a lot of prayer and research of different grants and talking with friends we decided to go with private. We have a friend, Jeremy who is a lawyer and willing to charge even less than the lawyer Pam had recommended. And Pam's lawyer is amazingly willing to help Jeremy through the process for no charge! We feel very blessed to have such a wonderful, God-centered team behind us in this process!
Our next step is to start preparing for our home study and putting our profile together. This is a very daunting project and one I'm really not looking forward to! But I know it'll all be worth it:) Our goal is to have everything done by the end of March and then we wait to be matched with a birth mother. In a perfect world we could have a baby by this summer or fall. However, adoption is rarely a perfect world. Thankfully, God is in control and He knows what He's doing:)
Please join us in praying over this process! Pray for mine and Tyler's hearts as we prepare to become parents and face this long road ahead of bringing our baby home. Please lift up our baby's birth mother. I can't even imagine how difficult this will be for her! And pray for our child. We know God will bring us the baby He wants for us. And please feel free to ask us any questions you might have about adoption. We will always be as open and honest as possible. Thank you for sharing in this journey with us!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Welcome to my blog!
Oh hi:) I'm writing a blog (obviously). I have a feeling my mom and maybe 3 other people will actually read this but that's okay:) I wanted a chance to share about my life with Tyler, being a nanny and our newest adventure in starting a family. Why the name "Crazy Us"? Some would argue that we actually are crazy but that's not where the name comes from. It's actually an inside joke. I can't remember when it started but it feels like forever ago. Tyler and I put the word crazy in front of every other word when we talk about pretty much everything. Here's an example:
me: "Hey did you go to the crazy store?"
Tyler: "yep crazy did. I got crazy milk, crazy spaghetti sauce and crazy toilet paper"
me: "Crazy awesome. I crazy love you."
Tyler: "Crazy love you too."
me: "Crazy"
Yes I am aware how weird that is. That's why we usually keep those kind of conversations between just the two of us:) But what it comes down to is that we crazy love each other. We were even going to have "I crazy love you" engraved in our wedding rings but ran out of time before the wedding. It's one of those things we keep saying we're still going to do one day...
I hope you crazy like reading about crazy us.
me: "Hey did you go to the crazy store?"
Tyler: "yep crazy did. I got crazy milk, crazy spaghetti sauce and crazy toilet paper"
me: "Crazy awesome. I crazy love you."
Tyler: "Crazy love you too."
me: "Crazy"
Yes I am aware how weird that is. That's why we usually keep those kind of conversations between just the two of us:) But what it comes down to is that we crazy love each other. We were even going to have "I crazy love you" engraved in our wedding rings but ran out of time before the wedding. It's one of those things we keep saying we're still going to do one day...
I hope you crazy like reading about crazy us.
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