Tomorrow is the big day!

Well we can't believe it's finally here!  C-section is scheduled for tomorrow at 10:00am:)  Feels like this week has both dragged on and flown by!  We've been very busy getting all the last minute details together and yes, I admit, I've been slightly neurotic:)  I insisted on moving furniture around in our room so we could move the cradle away from the sliding glass door because obviously someone could break through the doors and take the baby or a big storm could hit and blow through the glass.  I need the baby on the other side of the room, next to me where I can easily through my body over it and protect it.  I think it's a totally legit concern and was right to insist on Tyler moving the furniture around.  Tyler just thinks I'm crazy:)

I've been feeling such a mix of emotions about this weekend.  I'm so excited and can't wait to meet the baby. To see what it looks like.  To no longer call it "it"!!  Boy or girl?!!  I'm dying to know!  But I've also been dreading those daunting 48 hours before our birth mother signs the papers.  I'm trying to prepare myself for the possibility that she could change her mind.  She has every right to and I can only imagine how difficult this decision is for her.  I feel very confident that she is committed to this adoption but you never know for sure.  Talk about having to trust God!!  All we can do is follow our hearts and trust that we are here for a reason.  I just can't wait for Monday when we get to bring the baby home:)

I'm also nervous about breastfeeding.  Did you know adoptive moms can breastfeed?  yep!  pretty crazy!! I've been taking some herbs and some uh medicine from Bangkok I think?:)  And I've been pumping 3 or 4 times a day since July.  I feel like a science experiment but it's working!  I only make about 2 ounces a day so will have to supplement with formula and breast milk from friends but there's a crazy cool little contraption called a supplement aid that will allow me to feed the baby formula while breast feeding.  You basically put formula in a little bag that you wear around your neck and there's a super thin straw that you insert in the baby's mouth while latched on.  It will also help me produce more milk having a baby latch onto me instead of a pump:)  It's definitely a little complicated and I'm dreading 3:00am feedings with this thing, but it's really important to me to have the bonding experience of breast feeding and I figure any breast milk I produce is better than nothing.  Mostly I'm worried about how it's all going to go at the hospital this weekend. I don't have a lot of say or rights to anything until our birth mother signs the papers so hoping we have very understanding and cooperating nurses who will work with me on the nursing thing. I have a feeling I'm going to have to fight a little bit to make sure no one bottle feeds the baby.  And there's also no where for us to stay at the hospital so I'll be sleeping in waiting rooms or the car and nursing the baby in any private corner I can find.  We'll get a hotel close by to have a place to shower and change but I have a feeling I won't want to stay there all night if I insist on breast feeding:)  Those little things like to eat pretty often!  So we'll see how it works out, I'm trying not to worry about the logistics of everything too much.  Just trying to focus on this amazing gift we're being given this weekend and how blessed we are.  It's all so surreal.  I'm going to be a mom?!  So happy but a little terrified too:)

Thank you to everyone who has been so happy and excited with us.  Thank you for all the prayers and encouraging words.  It means so much to have such an amazing community welcoming Baby Pearson home:)  Please be thinking and praying for us this weekend.  Pray for our birth mother, for a healthy and smooth delivery and a healthy baby.  And just for everything to go smoothly and for those 48 hours to fly by!  I will try to post on facebook the sex of the baby and all it's cute little details but probably won't post any pictures until we know for sure we get to bring him/her home:)  Thanks for loving Baby Pearson already!
love,
Katie

Profile book

Some of you have asked to see our profile book.  Here it is:)
Disclaimer: You may want to give us your child after reading it.

Click here to view this photo book larger

Photo Book Tip: Create an adventurous travel photo album at Shutterfly.com.

part 2

After the excitement of being matched we had to get down to business.  Unfortunately adoption isn't cheap:) We are very blessed to be sponsored by our social worker and she is contributing monthly to our adoption fund.  However, we still needed more help, so it was grant writing time.  We were a little limited on what grants we were eligible for because we are doing private, domestic adoption.  And let me tell you, applying to these grants is NOT fun!  Very time consuming with lots of personal questions.  Thankfully, because I did the profile book, Tyler volunteered to take the lead on the grant writing.  He's amazing, I know.  However, there was still a lot of writing I had to do myself because they want to hear from both of us.  Most of the grants where from Christian organizations so I felt the questions were basically just trying to see how Holy I am haha!  Had to really turn on my "Christianese" for these.  Yes, as a preacher's kid I am fluent in Christianese:)  Still waiting to hear back from all the grants (they take a while to decide and get back to you)  We've had to front all the costs which has been challenging at times but it's been amazing how God continues to provide for us.  I took a second job at my church as the children's ministry director and that has really helped a lot...financially...but it's definitely been exhausting!  This summer I worked full-time with the twins and worked "part-time" at my church so was pulling in 60-70 hour work weeks.  I am not made for this type of thing!!  And with grant writing and getting the house ready for the baby, I definitely had a lot on my plate.  To be honest,  I was completely overwhelmed.  This summer was really hard.  It was a mixture of being so excited and happy and being completely stressed and overwhelmed.  And then there was the due date fiasco. We've literally been given 8 different due dates since we've been matched.  (To be clear, the actual due date never changed, we were just given wrong information)  Definitely a little frustrating!  When we thought the due date was moved up to September I thought I was going to lose my mind.  Everything we had to do and pay for got moved up and it was extremely stressful.  I felt like I was being pulled in so many different directions with everything demanding my full attention, which I couldn't give.  I was definitely a really bad friend and wife during that time.  And then I looked at what I was so stressed about: a new baby coming, fixing up our home, jobs, grants.....all things I should be thankful for!  And I really am thankful.  So thankful.  And God knows what he's doing:) We found out in August that the due date is actually October 22nd.  We got to go to a doctor appointment with our birth mother and hear it from the doctor ourselves.  I was bitter for about a day that we had been so stressed and worked so hard to be ready early, just to have plenty of time but then quickly realized what a blessing this is.  I was so stressed this summer, I never got a chance to relax and emotionally prepare myself to be a mom (as much as anyone can ever really be prepared) and now I have that time.  The twins started Kindergarten so I'm not working with them anymore (I'll share more about that in a later post), the house is coming together, grants are done, I have so much more time!  I've had time to sleep in, go on dates with Tyler, have happy hour with girlfriends, and read books for fun!!  I'm definitely soaking it up as much as I can because rumor has it that life changes a bit when you have a baby:)  Still working at my church and finishing up the house but everything seems much more manageable and enjoyable.  We have less than 3 weeks till the baby comes and I plan to enjoy this time as much as possible, but I can't wait to start our new adventure.  I can't wait to be a mom.  I can't wait to see what the baby looks like and what the baby is!!  Boy or Girl??!!!   We decided early on that we wanted it to be a surprise.  One, because I love surprises but mostly because this baby isn't ours yet and it's a way to emotionally guard our hearts a little bit.  We've had our names picked out for years and don't want to use them until we know it's our baby.  As confident as I feel that our birth mother is committed to adoption, that could change and she has every right to that.  We'll name the baby when she signs the papers 48 hours after the birth.

Speaking of our birth mother, I just wanted to share how much we love and admire her.  We got to meet her back in July.  So nerve racking!!  But it went so well.  I won't go into her story because it's not mine to tell but I will say that she is an extremely brave, self-less, and strong woman.  I'm so thankful for her and pray for her and the baby constantly.  Whenever I'm overwhelmed, I think of her and everything she is going through and it really puts things into perspective.  When all is said is done, we get to walk away with a baby, an amazing and incredible gift we get to love and raise.  Our birth mother, on the other hand, will be going through what will probably be the hardest thing she's ever done or will do.  Like I said, she's an amazing woman.

Okay that's it for now.  I'll share more soon!